I am VERYYYYYYYY SCARED! It has been such a freaking waiting game and now we are down to 6 days left. On the way to the sitters this morning Riley told me he was scared. It took everything in me to tell him it was gonna be fine. Inside I am scared and hoping for the best.
He has been extremmely tired the last week and that is scary UGHHHH I do not want to deal with this REALLY.
I am extremmelly worried that they will find something on riley's brain I am extremmelly scared that he will have to have surgery and I am extremmelly scared of the WHAT IFS!
I am not sure I am ready to hear the "news" from the neorosurgeon. REALLY WHY OUR FAMILY??? I know some have it much worse I understand that but still.
Here is what goes on in my mind Is it something I did wrong? Is it something I could have prevented? Is it me? Will my other babies have the same problem? (I haven't called Autumn's orthopedic dr caiuse I am too scared). What if he has to have surgery? What if his whole life is changed in a matter of a few hours? I don't want to think of seeing my lil man be put to sleep with anesthesia IT SUCKS......
And to top it off my other boy has had major conversations with his dad he wants to move up here. Where I am happy about that and the opportunities he has here I hate to see him hurt. It makes me sad that his dad is being a A**.
And The lil man has been asleep since about 7 PM (I hope he is not sick ugh)
goodnight we will keep everyone updated with whatever news we know!
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